A Day in the Life

I am leaving for Quaint Southern City in a few hours for a crash course in “How not to get sued,”How to keep your 503(c) status,” and a healthy dose of “How to keep your volunteers happy.”  As usual, I am experiencing the full-on panic that happens when I am about to leave home.  M is going to find little notes every place with critical information like “Don’t forget a water bottle with the kids’ lunches, there are GERMS on the water fountains!” and “Make sure everyone flosses!”  This annoys him, understandably so, but it makes me feel better, so I do it anyway.  He knew he was marrying a control freak even though he denies it with a passion.  Any bride who stomps her feet in the hotel lobby and announces that the ceremony will begin “ON TIME, WITH OR WITHOUT YOU ALL” because the rest of the wedding party is not being prompt enough in their departure for the church, cannot be classified as anything BUT a control freak.

It is, of course, snowing here.  And I, of course, will be flying in a putt-putt plane to Quaint Southern City.  Because I needed something else to panic about.  On the upside, I get a window AND and aisle seat.  The only nice thing about flying in a small plane.  I have loaded up my laptop with all the shows that have been languishing on my TIVO for weeks, as well as Julie & Julia.  Although someone reminded me that I will have to sit with nothing in my lap for the majority of the flight.  Don’t the Homeland Security folks know that sitting with nothing to do for that long will make all anxious fliers even more freaked out?  I will be calm, I will be calm.  It is times like this that I wish I were a glass half-full type.  I bet they sit there for an hour twiddling their thumbs and thinking “How nice is this?  Peace and quiet and time to be alone with my happy thoughts!”

Once I get to Quaint Southern City, I am sure it will all be fine.  I get a hotel room all to myself and I have all intentions of ordering extra pillows and enjoying three nights of falling asleep secure in the knowledge that there will be no pitter-patter of little footsteps seventeen times a night with nightmares, headaches, stomachaches, or a desire for a heart-to-heart chat about the unfairness of life.  And as M has much less tolerance for nocturnal activity than I do, I am somewhat hopeful that once I return I will find that the children will be re-trained to stay in their beds for at least a few nights before returning to their usual habits.  I will comfort myself with that thought as I am trying not to panic about the fact that M is the world’s deepest sleeper, and a child could probably vomit all over him and he would just flick his hand and roll over.

I am now off to finish packing, and panic about what I forgot.  Am I the only crazy traveler out there?

Dear January,

I am so over you.  You are cold and no fun at all.  My hands are red, cracked disaster areas, my lips are chapped, and it is too cold to even contemplate a walk.  You make me jealous of the moms who have the chutzpa to ignore the emails sent by the principal declaring that one cannot park in the pickup/drop off zone and wait for your child to find you.  You also make me jealous of the moms who have children who agree to walk a block or two from school to find your car.  I was one of three mommies standing outside the 2nd grade door today, cursing your name.

I must admit, I am not a huge fan of your friend, February, either.  Although at least my birthday is in February, and that makes me slightly more inclined to forgive her her faults.  Also, she is only 28 (give or take) days long, and almost always offers up the gift of a snow day in hopes of currying favor (I can be bribed).

So dear January, please reconsider your standard fare.  Or, in lieu of a warm spell, please send some decent boots and an electric blanket.

Best,

Chichimama

A: “Do you believe that when you die you go down to heaven with God?”

Chichimama: “Up in heaven you mean.”

A: “No, DOWN in heaven.  Your body gets buried in the ground, so God is DOWN, not up.”

Chichimama: “Um, well, that would make sense, wouldn’t it, but most people think that heaven is up.”

A: “Well, I think its down.  It makes more sense.”

Chichimama: “I can’t argue with that.”

• Santa came, Santa spoiled, Santa left.
• My house can now be declared a Lego store.  I just need to make a sign and hang it in the front window.
• The favorite toys of the year were the Lego sets and the American Girl Doll.  Whose birthday is apparently today, and I have been declared a bad “grandmother” for not realizing that fact any buying her a present or two (like a bed and a new outfit).
• My husband made a Christmas Eve run to the yarn store, and my lovely LYS owners, knowing a desperate male when they see one, made my Christmas quite merry!  They even remembered my favorite brands of yarn, what needle sizes I was missing, and the fact that I store my circular needles in ziplock bags.
• M also cooked the turkey on Christmas Day, and it was amazing how not having to worry about the turkey made the holiday so much less stressful.  He did an amazing job and now owns the turkey for the rest of our married days.
• My house may never recover.  Seriously.  And matters are not being helped by the fact that our normal garbage pickup is on Friday, so we already had a weeks worth of trash, and now have a weeks worth of trash plus Christmas trash, plus two weeks of recycling sitting in our garage.  I have forbade anyone from generating any more trash or recycling.
• New Years is shaping up to be a lovely evening consisting of my two playgroups plus a few neighborhood friends who know my house better than I do.  So very much better than the chaos that ensued last year.  And as our two late night “we are going to see the ball drop” families have declined the invite this year, everyone should be long gone by 10pm except Rebecca and her family, meaning I can have some semblance of normal returned to my house before heading to bed.
• Now I need to stop eating and hit the gym.  A lot.  Even my fat jeans are a bit snug this afternoon.
• That won’t stop my from my turkey quesadillas with brie and cranberry chutney, however.  No sir-ree Bob!
• Hope everyone had a wonderful holiday season, if you find yourself lacking in Legos, just let me know.

I loved Christmas.  I loved the lights, and the pretty trees, and the peace that could be found by sitting on one’s couch and listening to holiday music and sipping some sort of adult beverage.  But the last time I remember sitting on the couch, listening to holiday music and sipping an adult beverage was somewhere around 1999.

Now, my children love Christmas.  And my husband loves Christmas, and I am pretty sure that my in-laws love Christmas.  Because for them, it is a magical holiday where presents and food appear, love is showered, and family is celebrated.  Me?  I now spend the holiday season making lists, cursing cheap wrapping paper and tape, and stressing over whether dinner will be ready at a reasonable hour or not.

This year I have been day dreaming of a destination Christmas.  One where we fly off to some southern location, where all presents need to fit in an airline approved carry-on bag, and where I dress and show up for a lovely meal cooked by someone who knows their way around a kitchen. A scenario that I never thought I would dream of.  But my (Christmas Eve, Christmas Morning, Christmas Dinner, take your pick) menu isn’t planned, and I have done not a stitch of holiday baking.

Can you tell that I am not so much into the holiday spirit this year?

On the upside, our New Years party is back to the pre-”eh, what’s a few more people” days.  And, I am not serving dinner.  AND, the kids will be watching a movie (or two, or three) in the basement.  But until then I have to get through three pageant rehearsals, two choir rehearsals, and find the partridge in the pear tree.

We had a real Thanksgiving, with family, a turkey, and pumpkin pie!  The Thanksgiving curse has been broken!  For a year, anyway…

Now I have to turn my attentions to the rapidly approaching Christmas and (gulp) New Years party, which will be greatly scaled down this year.

Nope, not going to do it.  I did not just pack up the car, and I did not just purchase a hostess gift.  Nope, didn’t do it.  I am also not setting my alarm for 5am tomorrow, and I am TOTALLY not driving through the grand state of Connecticut, as I am SURE there will be lots of traffic there, and I NEVER travel when there might be traffic.

Have a Happy Thanksgiving y’all, may your turkeys roast in a timely manner, and may your vegetarian dishes make even the meat lovers at your table drool.

And I definitely will NOT be back with a knitting project on the needles, as you know how my cast-on phobia is right now.

• I thought A was on the mend, then tonight she spiked a super high fever again.  Thankfully, the Motrin brought it down, but I was very close to calling the pediatrician to see what to do about a fever that wouldn’t come down in a child who was very insistent that she felt totally fine.  It seemed an odd combo, as generally, with a fever of over 103, she is a melted pile of goo instead of a dancing fool screaming at me that she is NOT sick and that I am a MEAN MOMMY for not letting her dance around the house like a crazy person.
• C, of course, seems to have a slight fever and a headache, so I assume round two should hit tomorrow.  Although he has also gotten rather dramatic about the whole thing, insisting that he is very, very sick.  So it is rather hard to separate the real sick from the fake sick right now.
• I am feeling not so great myself, but am hoping it is the constant worrying about getting sick that is doing me in, not the actual flu.
• I did not lay in enough supplies, clearly.  We ran through our jello supplies, I was forced to rent a video on demand from Amazon this afternoon, and we are out of quiet art activities that can be done on the couch.  We are out of ice pops as I forgot to add those to the list, and the juice supply is dangerously low.  The cats, however, are styling with plenty of food and litter.
• Any good TV show suggestions?  In our current rotation are Phineas and Ferb, Fetch with Ruff Ruffman, Scooby Doo, Tom and Jerry, and occasionally one of the kids asks for Curious George.  But as much as I love Phineas and Ferb, we have seen every episode at least three times in the last few days, and I think I need to branch the kids out for my own sanity.
• No one is interested in listening to books on CD.  Apparently that is a “car” activity, not a lie on the couch activity.  I have no idea what the difference is between lying on the couch or sitting in a booster seat, but they both insist that there is, so huh.
• What do you think the likelihood of us making it to my sister’s for Thanksgiving are?  Yesterday I was giving it pretty good odds, today, not so much.  M think we should have a betting pool every year, not for whether or not we make it to whatever Thanksgiving plans we made, but for what keeps us from making it to where we are supposed to be, or enjoying the day once we are there.  Over the last 8 years we have had random viral fever, pneumonia, stomach bug, random viral fever, strep, stomach bug, stomach bug, and now flu.  Safe money would be on stomach bug given our track record…

Our pediatrician was very insistent that she wanted to see A yesterday (or, rather, as she was out on maternity leave, her partner was).  I had planned on hunkering down and just wanted to double check what I was looking for in terms of “dangerous symptoms.”  But, in we went.  Right about the time she started vomiting.  Thankfully, she hit the dining room rug, not the new(ish) couch or, the car.  By the time we got there, her fever was 103ish, and she was promptly put on Tamiflu.

I generally am very wary of medicine, I have what M calls “side-effect phobia.”  I live in fear of the bizarre, 1 in 100,000 side effect.  So I hemmed and hawed a bit about the Tamiflu.  The doctor gently told me I was crazy, and to take the prescription already.  Let me tell you, based on A today vs. A yesterday?  Tamiflu is a wonderful drug.  She is still clearly sick, but she is at least somewhat alert and capable of complaining when she doesn’t like the show on TV.  She has even consumed two pieces of toast and two juice boxes, some serious progress.

Now I am just hoping that the rest of us somehow avoid this.  Doubtful, I know, but a mommy can hope…

• I spent the day yesterday cleaning.  Because if we were going to be home sick with the flu for days on end I didn’t want to be lying on the couch hacking up a lung and staring at a big old dustball in the corner.  Rebecca, who was lying on her couch with the flu as I frantically scrubbed, informed me that I really wouldn’t care about the dustball if I got the flu.  Regardless, I now have a clean house.
• I was woken by A at 3:05 this morning with a “My head hurts.  And my tummy.  I am HOT under my covers.  My chest hurts.”  On the upside, I knew exactly what we were dealing with, on the downside, yuck.
• Interestingly, she actually doesn’t have a fever.  I assume it will spike at some point (or not, as A always seems to be the exception that proves the rule), and the cough is minimal.  I probably would have sent her to school had I not been so aware, thus, in my uneducated opinion, explains part of why this thing is spreading like wildfire…
• Now my head hurts.  Ulgh.