How do I love thee Google, let me count the ways

In my inbox this afternoon,

Thought you might be interested to know that as predicted, your blog has indeed rescued us random Google searchers who have been battling the same evil red child lock light on our dishwasher.

Thanks to your blog we have just figured out how to overcome its defensive tactics.
Many, many thanks!

I feel so useful now! And to think I was starting ponder hanging up my bloggy hat for the summer! But now who knows what other random pieces of trivia I might be able to share with the world???

Odds and Loose Ends

  • In case you hadn’t figured it out, I didn’t end up applying for the job. I got bitter just thinking about how it would suck away the few free hours a week I have without a child attached to me, and once I did the math I realized that it didn’t pay enough for me to afford a sitter for the kids during the hours I was working.
  • Although somehow I managed to volunteer close to 30 hours a week over the past three weeks between C’s school stuff and the church fund raiser without the help of a sitter.
  • I think the difference is that the volunteer work was on my terms. I felt no guilt about walking away from it for an hour to take the kids to the park or out to eat. And if the kids started screaming in the middle of a meeting and I had to leave, no one could get worked up about it because I was a volunteer.
  • OK, I felt some guilt about walking away in the middle of meetings, but I was able to work through it because hello, I wasn’t getting paid.
  • I think there is a fine line between a strong work ethic and a work-a-holic, and I have always fallen just over that line on the wrong side.
  • The fund raiser went, OK. I got dragged into it pretty late in the decision making process, so a lot of the things I would have changed had already been set in stone once I came on board. At least I don’t feel responsible for them.
  • I have no idea how much money we made, I had to leave before the money got counted to relieve the babysitter. But I have a strong suspicion that it was not nearly as much as they had originally hoped for. Which should surprise no one since 150 less people attended than the initial guess as to how many parishioners would come to a Friday night event at a less than stellar function hall.
  • I think the meal I didn’t eat was perhaps the worst meal I have ever been served in my life. Even the cake was horrific. At least I felt no responsibility over it as the place had been booked long before I even knew there was going to be a fund raiser.
  • Since no one knew who I was, I heard a lot of complaining about the details of the fund raiser. Which got me pretty worked up for a while. And then M pointed out that if they had felt so strongly, they should have gotten involved. Yeah! That’s right!
  • I think we did a pretty good job for a group of four people, two of whom worked full-time, one of whom was going through chemotherapy and one of whom had two small children at home. In fact, I think it is somewhat of a miracle that we pulled it off.
  • Next time I want to be in on the ground floor of the planning process though. I already have a list going of the things that should have been done differently.
  • Did I mention that I tend towards work-a-holicism?
  • The kids were serious troopers though the whole thing. So I felt badly when I didn’t win the raffle baskets they really wanted. But apparently C still loves me, even if I am not a very lucky mommy.
  • And I am glad to be back in my favorite chair contemplating my next knitting project.

Warm and Fuzzy

Today in my random surfing of knitting blogs, I found one that referenced my mom’s skill as a spinning instructor AND one that had pictures of the yarn shop I grew up in (although it looks nothing like I remembered). The world is indeed a small place…

See Nana? You’re famous!

Ah, the silence

It is 11:25 pm and I have officially ended my fund raiser duties. My email is empty, my cell phone is silent. Tomorrow I can resume my normal life. Ahhh, the peace.

Overheard from the Backdoor

Chichimama: “Why are you coming inside? We just sunblocked you and you were so excited to play in the backyard!”

C: “I’m too hot to play outside.”

Look what the cat dragged in

Dumb Cat :”Yewol.”

Chichimama: “M? Dumb Cat brought in a mouse.”

M: “Is it dead or alive?”

Chichimama: “Um, alive.”

Dumb Cat chases the mouse into the toy closet. Dumb Cat loses interest in the mouse. The mouse escapes into kitchen. Chichimama throws Dumb Cat at the mouse again. Dumb Cat half heartedly chases the mouse under the buffet in the dining room. Dumb Cat wanders off to the food bowl.

M: “Wait, Chichimama, where are you going?”

Chichimama: “To get the camera of course!”

M: “Um, hello? There is a mouse in the dining room. How about gloves from the garage?”

Chichimama grudgingly procures both gloves and the camera.

M captures the mouse using Chichimama’s new magazine. Dumb Cat continues to ponder his food bowl.
M returns the mouse to the great outdoors.

Dumb Cat scratches his neck.


M: “Where do you want me to put the magazine?”

Chichimama: “Throw it out!”

M: “What, are you afraid of the plague or something?”

Chichimama: “Exactly.”

MIA

So I’ll be MIA for a while. After my whining that I wasn’t able to volunteer as much as I wanted at church, I somehow ended up a co-chair of a massive fundraising dinner, which is taking place on Friday. Clearly, I have left y’all out of the loop, because really, fundraising dinner planning is not really blog fodder. But as my life is now consumed by seating plans and late RSVP’s and writing fun, cheery write ups of gift baskets and silent auction donations (Are you planning a European vacation? Have you always wanted to visit South America? Well, now is your chance! With airfare climbing, take this opportunity to bid on two international round trip tickets. Start planning your next vacation today!), I’ll be nice and spare you the agonizing details of my life for the week.

But, for your amusement, I leave you with the following tidbit overheard from C…

C: “My thinking box is broken!”

Rebecca: “C, why don’t you think outside the box?”

C: “Um, I really like to think IN the box.”

M: “Never, ever say that in a job interview, OK?”

I’m SO not an Alpha Mom

Gina had a post that introduced me to a new term, Alpha Mom. Since in my usually clueless way, I had no clue what the buzz was all about, I did a bit of Googling. And although I’m still a little unclear what exactly it takes to be an Alpha Mom, what IS clear is that as I sit here with no career in faded yoga pants and a fleece jacket that is a decade or so old as my children watch not-so-educational TV, I am SO not an Alpha Mom. I can guarantee that not a single person I meet in my day to day life is going to run out and buy something because I am wearing it or using it. In fact, I am fairly confident that they will take one look at my life and make a mental note to NOT do what I do.

As I read up on the life of the Alpha Mom, it made most of me want to run screaming away from my computer. But, deep down inside, there is a small part of me that believes in the Alpha Mom and likes to think that I could be one. Sometimes I daydream about what it might be like to have a high-powered career, headed off to the city every morning dressed in the latest fashion with my Blackberry and laptop, cheerily kissing C and A goodbye knowing that they were being lovingly cared for by the village that I had hired to make sure that they ate their vegetables, peed on the potty and attended the appropriate enriching activities. And let’s be clear, I wouldn’t be working because I had to, but because I wanted to.

I would come home at night to happy children who were ready to spend quality time with me, and then I would have grownup conversations with M about my job and all the amazing things I had done that day. Oh, and at some point in this scenario, I made it to the gym too, and I have miraculously lost the ten (or 20) extra pounds hanging around my middle. Although I haven’t quite worked out in my mind when my gym time is. I have a sneaking suspicion that I ended up building a home gym in the basement and workout while watching CNBC after the kids are in bed, but that part of my fantasy is still a work in progress.

Then I wake up from my fantasy world, and go back to the life I really lead. And most of the time, I’m OK with that because no matter how much they say that being an Alpha Mom isn’t about trying to be perfect, from where I’m sitting it looks an awful lot like the Supermom concept repackaged. And I don’t really want her therapy bills.

Wrong, just wrong

It should NOT be so cold in mid-April that my kids had to wear hats and mittens to the playground. And my heat should NOT still be on all. day. long. This weather is making me bitter and grumpy, and generally not pleasant. Plus, my flowering trees are, well, not flowering, and I STILL have no idea what types of flowers, if any, I have in any of my beds because there is no hint of green anyplace on my property.

Remind me of this in three months when I start bitching about how it is just.too.hot. to move, OK?

Overheard in the hallway

A: “I want a monkey back ride!”

Chichimama: “You mean a piggy back ride?”

A: “No, a MONKEY back ride.”

Chichimama: “A, it is called a piggy back ride.”

C: (rolling eyes) “Mom, she CALLS it a MONKEY back ride because she hang on your back like a MONKEY, not a pig. WHY on EARTH did ANYONE decide to call it a piggy back ride? I JUST don’t understand.”

A: “Yeah. What C said.”

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