As I sit here awaiting the inevitable power outage, trying to eat my way through a deep freeze full of food, and trying not to cry over the thought of losing the contents of said freezer for the 4th time in 12 months, here are some bullets to keep myself mildly distracted and entertained.
- Dear Trader Joe’s Shoppers: a cartload of frozen food will do you no good unless you have a whole house generator. Sorry to break that news to you.
- Dear Neighbor who is frantically trying to rake her lawn before the storm hits, why bother??? The leaves are falling faster than you are raking. Even my eight-year-old figured that out.
- Dear Neighbor who somehow managed to get the tree guys out to trim her trees today, I will not in anyway blame you when the power goes out. In fact, you may be my heroine. Other neighbors who have never had their trees dealt with, I’ll be looking at you instead.
- Dear M who deliberately parked his car in the “safe” spot in the driveway, leaving me to park under the neighbor’s scary tree, I noticed . And that just means that you will have to give me your car to drive when mine gets crushed, FYI. Unless you are going to stay home and shuttle the kids to and from school…
- Dear neighbor(s) who is(are) testing out your generators, I hate you, just a little. Especially since you aren’t on the side of the street that always loses power, and I know that you don’t ever offer it up to those of us who are not so well prepared. You will not be on my “Please, take the contents of my freezer and enjoy since you have power” list.
- Dear kids school who has not yet made the call to close, who are you kidding? We all know there won’t be school tomorrow, or Tuesday, and probably not for the rest of the week. So could you please just send out the 50 billion phone calls, emails and text alerts before I go to bed? I am all for the power of positive thinking, but I am also all for the “get a good night sleep while there is some semblance of heat in my house” philosophy.
Over and out from the Hurricane Sandy Bullseye.